Okay, now i'm at home, got back not long ago... Van wilder is a funny movie, unfortunately a lot of parts got cut... Typical singaporean cinema.... damn censorship board....

I still haven't written the letter yet.. even thinking abt it, my heart pounds... i dun get why i'm so scared.... man..... i have to though..... probably tomorrow or osmething,w hen i have the time. i'm super tired tonight.... I don't know how the other leaders are gonna react man... i dun expect anything from them, except abt the jog-a-thon thing falling on someone else's shoulders. hope fully osmeone who can take the pressure.... and i also hope that no one will call me up abt the resignation and ask me or talk to me abt it....
Sigh......

I guess i'll have to do this for myself. for my emotional self and for my mental self and for my spiritual self..... i need to get away from CYF to grow......
I've grown a lot in CYF and now i gotta find a bigger shelter, i hope they'll understand that.... and i hope they'll understand that if i don't leave now, i'm gonna fall apart and i'll only get worse and worse...... as it is i already have the energy of a dead fish and more and more energy is being drained from me, day by day..........
i need a break to recharge and relax, to collect myself and sort things through...... i have to do this.... its this week or never...... b4 the next core team gathering.....
yet fear and anxiety still build up inside me..... i dunno why.... probably cause of everything that i'll leave behind..... my friendships with them could only get better after this..... i'm sure of it.... they'd support me in this... my friends would support me in this.....