As of late, i've been feeling more and more detached. All i can say is that i'm not the church going choir boy that i used to be.
Fr Yeo commented a few times, asking "I don't see you around church as often now, How have you been?"
I haven't been going to church as often lately, been feeling very detached from church...
What used to make me keep going to church was CYF, there used to be a flame in me that burned for church, where i'd come down to help out whenever i can.
Well, most of the time its cause someone asked me to help out, but recently, no one's asked for any help in church.
CYF doesn't really hold a place for me anymore. I used to feel a part of it back then, a year or 2 ago, but not anymore, its as if i've been phased out from CYF.
When i go down to the room, i'm not part of it, i'm an outsider. its been that way for a while.... I told Amelia that i know how she feels when she left CYF. I think i truly understand what she's gone through. the feelings and thoughts running through her head. Its not that i don't love CYF, in fact i still do. but it just doesn't hold a place for me anymore.
In fact its not gonna make a place cause its changed. i'm not accepted, not anymore.
What brings me back to church? Its the Sense of peace, and also Choir.
Music really is the one true thing that is Universal. Its my love for music that keeps me in choir, and keeps me in church. God really knows how to work .

And its through my other Choir that i've met people, wonderful people that are true and honest and sincere. And VE is a place where i'm accepted adn loved, in more ways than when i was in CYF. In a strange way, i see more of God there. The God that loves you for who you really are, that loves unconditionally. that cares. I've seen a lot of how God works, of his wonders of love. Strange how its in a non-catholic organisation. I'm so gonna miss it, i'm so gonna miss them all.

VE's practically the only other thing i'm not detached from besides my family and my personal friends.
It seems as though everyones leaving for something or somewhere. I'm leaving soon.

Oh God, I pray that you'll let me have a place in MDC Choir

I've been told that Life only really begins after Army. As i think back and as i look at whats in store for me, i can only think, how true that statement really is.
I've really got a lot of things in store for me. and even more obstacles to overcome.

Oh God, Give me the strength and perserverance to over come those obstacles

I've just found out why i've been so detached. Strange as it seems, i'm prepared to leave, for the Army, to lessen the pain i'll feel when i leave.
I guess mentally i'm more prepared than even i imagined.

Well, those are my thought for the night....
I'll stop here. night.