Its been a long month man. a very long and emotionally draining month.
Been taken for a ride on the proverbial emotional roller coaster again.
Its been a rough ride so far, but i see smooth cruisin ahead. at least i hope so.

So confused about the things happening around me and its all happening so fast that i'm left not knowing how to react.
Exhausted, thats what i am. exhausted of everything. exhausted of living, exhausted of dealing with my problems, exhausted of trying to help others with their problems. Exhausted of caring.

Why i still carry on caring for everyone? i'm left not knowing what to reply when i ask myself that question.
I think to myself, perhaps its cause i've been doing that for so long that caring is inate. its become part of me and who i am.
I suppose its good. i don't know.

Sometimes i wonder, sometimes i think.
Sometimes i ponder, and then i blink.
I think too much,
I see too much.
i watch and wait for something unknown
i might have missed it, i don't know.
Waiting gives me time.
Time makes me think.
When i ponder and wonder,
When i consider life in its magnitude.
What's life? what's existance?
What are probelms? What are solutions?
I think and ponder and i miss the things around me.
I care, i love. Why? I don't know
What's love? What do i care about?
Why do i care? Why do i love?
Is there a point to everything?
Are we living a game?
I'll never know, probably not in my lifetime.
Plagued by these questions i always will be.
Elusive the answers to all my questions.

I just wrote that. without thought or control, just pure feeling.
Does it make sense? i don't know.......
All i know is.... I'm tired.
Very very tired.....................
gd nite.........