Beauty is in the eye of the beholder

I'm left with no idea how to start typing what i'm feeling tonight.
its like i don't know what to say, how to express it.
Its like how my title for tonight is, Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

I see a lot of things, maybe cause i like to watch people.
Yet sometimes, its as if i can look into the person, into that person inside.
but that only happens when my mind's clear and nothing's clouding my sight.
There's beauty in everything around me. every single thing......

I've told my dear this many times, i think she's absolutely beautiful.
not only externally, but also who she is inside.
she's quite possibly the sweetest person i know.
i call her my angel, cause i think she is......
I thank God all the time for putting her in my life.
I've said i'm gonna be serious about this.... and i am gonna be.
The last thing i wanna do is break her heart... the last thing i wanna do is break anyone's heart.

Ning, my friend today, she told me that cause i'm going out with a sec 4 girl, that it might not be serious, as in we might not last as long as i'm hoping it will be...
when she said that, it just struck me. I'm afraid that she might be right, i'm really hoping that she's wrong, but what if?
yes i know i'm afraid. i'm also afraid of losing this beauty that god has let me experience.

Amelia, my cousin, she read my blog, and noticed that i used the word love, when i write to my dear. well, yes i do love her.
Yes i do love her a lot. even though we're a young couple, i'll love with all that i am, cause i've made that choice and i'm not going back on it.
In time if my heart gets broken, well, so be it. its a risk i'm willing to take, cause well, i believe in love, and that its all Godsent.
The fact that we are able to love, and share his love with people around us is special.
but between a couple, its all the more beautiful. I've chosen to love my angel and love her i shall.

Fear's always on my mind, its something that hinders the progression of things. In love, when i have someone special in my life,
the fear's stronger, beacuse i don't want to lose her. i don't want to lose that light in my dark and dreary life.
To be honest, She's like my light, guides me along the way to becoming a better person.
its instinct, its trust..... instincts have never let me down.
I don't know much now, all i know is i love her and that isn't gonna change. it'll probably get stronger with time and nurturing.

I can't wait till her O's are over. I really hope and pray that this relationship i have with my angel will withstand the test of time.
When i'm out with her, i just don't want it to end. On the bus ride's home, and she's in my arms, i just wish that they'd last longer cause its like so comfortable,
as if she fits there perfectly. we don't even have to like say anything, the moment is just perfect.
When i'm with her i suddenly live for the moment, cherishing and treasuring all the moments i have with her.
i hope it never stops.. i hope i'll always get that feeling when i'm with her.
I hope it'll never get to the point when i start taking her for granted.
I hope i'll realize it early so i'll stop that from happening.

Shao Bing just told me somethign that makes a lot of sense.....
Don't think about it so much, the more you think about it, the more you'll fear, and all the more it'll happen.
alright i guess i'll stop harping about the fears. just cast them out of my head and live.
When i'm with my angel, my fears just dissappear. and everytime i think of her, i'll just smile.
Magic? yeah. teh magic of having someone to care for and having someone that cares for you. =]

Well, good news, my dear's feeling much better now, thanks for the prayers to those who i've asked to pray for her.
i hope she'll be back to normal tomorrow. i'm also hoping that she'll be able to join us at CYF toimorrow, cause i'm leading worship after so long. lol

okay off to bed then.....
I Love you Dear!

cheers!