I've Lost her

I've lost her. For good.
I don't know what happened......
It just did....

I'm crying again.........

My fears have come to pass......
whatever i've built have come falling down on my head again...
I'm back in my pit.......
Not as far down as before but still in it none the less.....
I didn't see it coming... it just happened.....
One day it was fine, the next thing i know.........

Its gone..... never to happen....
in the future, maybe..... when she's ready....
if i'm still around....
i don't know anything now........ i don't know whats going to happen.....
i don't know.......

i don't want to make any decision now......
i don't want to do anything......
i just want to sit here and cry........
i just want to sit here and hurt.........
Pain's a friend now.......
i'm so used to its company.....
just let me sit here and hurt.......

just let me be.......