Christmas day. usually i'm happy.
This year, well, i'm not.
i just can't seem to find joy in anything recently.
Even yesterday, at Sam's place for the party.
All i could think of was her.
Even today. I just miss her so much......
Miss her so very much........

I feel so invisible now.
Its like i'm not even there anymore......

Why do i put myself through all this?
torturing myself?
Honestly i don't know......
I've tried everything to get it out of my system, but i just can't!

I've tried to make myself let go, i'm trying to make myself move on.
But i seem to come back to this same point, over and over again.
And each time i come back, it feels worse.
There's just something about her.
Even now, i still think she's the closest thing to perfection.
Even though she's super cold to me now.
She still is the closest thing to Perfection.

I wrote her a letter, filled with my heart and soul.
Wrote everything that i wanted to say.
Wanted to give it to her yesterday.
In the end, i tore it up.
i didn't give it to her.
i can't take the risk of making the situation worse.

I tell myself everyday that you can live on without her.
that i can carry on, that there's a lot of others out there.
But i can't make myself believe that.
i just am not believeing it. why i don't know.......

Now i'm thinking she's found someone else.
It feels that way............
She misses someone..........
I'm quite sure that someone isn't me........
What can i do now.......... nothing at all...........
nothing.........

I'm supposed to show everyone that i'm strong.
strong enough to carry on, strong enough to move on.
How am i to carry that facade?
When within me i cannot move.
when within me i find not the strength.

Why do i love her so much?
Why am i missing her so much?
Why can't i just move on and forget about her?
Why can't i just carry on with my life?
Why do i still pray for a miracle?
Why can't i let go?

Artist: Brandy
Album: Never Say Never
Title: Have You Ever

Have you ever loved somebody so much
It makes you cry
Have you ever needed something so bad
You can't sleep at night
Have you ever tried to find the words
But they don't come out right
Have you ever, have you ever

Have you ever been in love
Been in love so bad
You'd do anything to make them understand
Have you ever had someone steal your heart away
You'd give anything up to make them feel the same
Have you ever searched for words to get you in their heart
But you don't know what to say
And you don't know where to start

Have you ever loved somebody so much
It's makes you cry
Have you ever needed something so bad
You can't sleep at night
Have you ever tried to find the words
But they don't come out right
Have you ever, have you ever

Have you ever found the one
You've dreamed of all your life
You'd do just about anything to look into their eyes
Have you finally found the one you've given your heart to
Only to find that one won't give their heart to you
Have you ever closed your eyes and
Dreamed that they were there
And all you can do is wait for that day when they will care

Have you ever loved somebody so much
It's makes you cry
Have you ever needed something so bad
You can't sleep at night
Have you ever tried to find the words
But they don't come out right
Have you ever, have you ever

What do I gotta do to get you in my arms baby
What do I gotta say to get to your heart
To make you understand how I need you next to me
Gotta get you in my world
'Cuz baby I can't sleep

Have you ever loved somebody so much
It's makes you cry
Have you ever needed something so bad
You can't sleep at night
Have you ever tried to find the words
But they don't come out right
Have you ever, have you ever