Artist: Linkin Park
Album: Meteora
Title: Somewhere I Belong

When this began
I had nothing to say
And i'd get lost in the nothingness inside of me
I was confused
And i let it all out to find
That i'm not the only person with these things in my mind
Inside of me
But all the vacancy the words revealed
Is the only real thing that i've got left to feel
Nothing to lose
Just stuck
Hollow and alone
And the fault is my own
And the fault is my own

I want to heal
I want to feel
What i thought was never real
I want to let go of the pain i've held for so long
[Erase all the pain til its gone]
I want to heal
I want to feel
Like i'm close to something real
I want to find something i've wanted all along
Somewhere i belong

And i've got nothing to say
I can't believe i didn't fall right down on my face
I was confused
Looking everywhere
Only to find that it's not the way i had imagined it all in my mind
So what am i
What do i have but negativity
'Cause i can't the
Way everyone is looking at me
Nothing to lose
Nothing to gain
Hollow and alone
And the fault is my own
The fault is my own

I want to heal
I want to feel
What i thought was never real
I want to let go of the pain i've held for so long
[Erase all the pain til its gone]
I want to heal
I want to feel
Like i'm close to something real
I want to find something i've wanted all along
Somewhere i belong

I will never know
Myself until i do this on my own
And i will never feel
Anything else until my wounds are healed
I will never be
Anything 'til i break away from me
And i will break away
I'll find myself today

I want to heal
I want to feel
What i thought was never real
I want to let go of the pain i've held for so long
[Erase all the pain til its gone]
I want to heal
I want to feel
Like i'm close to something real
I want to find something i've wanted all along
Somewhere i belong

I want to heal
i want to feel like i'm
Somewhere i belong

I want to heal
i want to feel like i'm
Somewhere i belong

The feelings of loneliness and feeling unwanted aren't really around anymore. I guess i just wanted to feel like i was needed, wanted. yeah...
Due in large part to Darren, Ben, Sebastian and last but definately not the least, Aileen. The 4 of them have really done a lot in making me feel accepted and wanted. Especially Aileen.
Though i don't see her around very often, everytime i see her i'm greeted by a warm smile and a big hug. Which honestly works wonders in improving how i feel. Darren, Ben and Sebastian, i'll usually be hanging around those guys. they're pleasant company and can crap with them. bonded a lot with them during CYF camp. Something that really touched me was something that Sebatian said when i told him i wouldn't be around for a few months.. it went something like this " we're gonna miss you man, can't crap as much without our leader"
Reading that, well it just really made me feel like i'm a part of something, like i'm wanted around by a few people. Thanks Guys! you have no idea how much you've helped me.
I'm not saying that the rest of CYF hasn't in pat helped, but its jus that these 4 people that have really impacted me in the last few weeks.

During the BBQ at kirstin's grandma's place. its was precisely these 4 people that were around most of the time, that i talked to the most, whilst everyone was mingling, Darren, Ben and Sebastian were with me cooking the BBQ food and when Aileen came, she hung out with us. Thanks for the wonderful company guys! Really!

After that, well i guess i've been in a really good mood lately. yeah, i can't garauntee that the loneliness won't come back, but i just hope it won't be too bad next time round cause i have them as friends. There's really nothing much else to say.

Today's entry is in tribute to Aileen, Sebastian, Darren and Ben.
Thanks guys for being angels in disguise!

Artist: Police
Album: unknown
Title: King of pain


There's a little black spot on the sun today
It's the same old thing as yesterday
There's a black hat caught in a high tree top
There's a flag pole rag and the wind won't stop

I have stood here before in the pouring rain
With the world turning circles running 'round my brain
I guess I'm always hoping that you'll end this reign
But it's my destiny to be the king of pain

There's a fossil that's trapped in a high cliff wall
That's my soul up there
There's a dead salmon frozen in a waterfall
That's my soul up there
There's a blue whale beached by a springtide's ebb
That's my soul up there
There's a butterfly trapped in a spider's web

I have stood here before in the pouring rain
With the world turning circles running 'round my brain
I guess I always thought you could end this reign
But it's my destiny to be the king of pain......

There's a king on a throne with his eyes torn out
There's a blind man looking for a shadow of doubt
There's a rich man sleeping on a golden bed
There's a skeleton choking on a crust of bread

There's a red fox torn by a huntsman's pack
There's a black winged gull with a broken back
There's a little black spot on the sun today
It's the same old thing as yesterday

I have stood here before in the pouring rain
With the world turning circles running 'round my brain
I guess I always thought you could end this reign
But it's my destiny to be the king of pain......

I'll always be king of pain..............