Friday, October 03, 2003

For a Friend

There was a day,
some time ago,
when my life ended and my world crashed,
I sank into a pit,
full of sorrow and agony.
My friends stood by me,
they talked to me and comforted me,
but i stayed in that pit,
wallowing in selfpity and grief.
Mourning the loss of a thing so dear.
The loss of a love that i held so close and dear to my heart.
My heart turned to stone,
Cold and unfeeling.
Never to feel again till i had found my lost love,
Never to feel joy, never to feel happiness.
That was the day when you left.

Months later,
you came by again.
We talked and shared our feelings and thoughts.
You warmed my heart and i felt again.
You brought me out of my pit of sorrow
and my endless agony.
You taught me as a friend,
And stayed true as a friend.
Even now i still sink back,
Yet not as deep as before.
Sometimes i wonder if we could ever be again,
yet deep inside i always knew the answer.
That we would never be,
that we are too different.
It never hit me as hard as before.
I finally realize what you have been telling me for so long.
We can never be.

I cherish what we had,
i cherish what we have.
You taught me so much,
you guided me along the way.
I'll love you always,
though not in the same way.
The friendship that you have shared,
will stay with me always.

Maybe its just me, that i always start reminising.
I run through my life, at the turn of the year.
When i grow older, when i hopefully grow wiser.
19 days to go, till i turn 20.
Many have crossed my path, these 20 years.
This passage is dedicated to one who has walked with me,
who stopped to say hello,
who stopped to hold my hand and guide me along the way,
who held up a light when things around me got dark.
I get the feeling that you will always be,
A friend who will stay with me,
A friend through and through.

Thank you Shao Bing.
I love you.

Wednesday, October 01, 2003

20 Days Left

Yeap.... 20 days of teenage life left..... gonna be a young adult in 20 days.....

looking forward to it? i dunno.........

Won't be celebrating this year... gonna be working through my birthday weekend at a Sony Roadshow.
On the bright side i'm gonna be paid about 1000+ for working 2 weeks.

At least i'll have cash....
Gonna go buy the N-gage after i get my pay.

With watever cash i have this month, its going into paying for my StarHub bill.... 400+.... the extra 300 came out of cancellation of the line....
so yah.... broke this month.... oh well.......

Waiting for dinner to come home. dad's buying.

parent's leaving for vietnam on friday. you'd think i'd be jumping for joy, but i'm not.
as of recent weeks i've been impartial to my parents. in a sense i dun really care what they are doing lah.
yeap........

sighz...... laters

Sunday, September 28, 2003

Its been a long month man. a very long and emotionally draining month.
Been taken for a ride on the proverbial emotional roller coaster again.
Its been a rough ride so far, but i see smooth cruisin ahead. at least i hope so.

So confused about the things happening around me and its all happening so fast that i'm left not knowing how to react.
Exhausted, thats what i am. exhausted of everything. exhausted of living, exhausted of dealing with my problems, exhausted of trying to help others with their problems. Exhausted of caring.

Why i still carry on caring for everyone? i'm left not knowing what to reply when i ask myself that question.
I think to myself, perhaps its cause i've been doing that for so long that caring is inate. its become part of me and who i am.
I suppose its good. i don't know.

Sometimes i wonder, sometimes i think.
Sometimes i ponder, and then i blink.
I think too much,
I see too much.
i watch and wait for something unknown
i might have missed it, i don't know.
Waiting gives me time.
Time makes me think.
When i ponder and wonder,
When i consider life in its magnitude.
What's life? what's existance?
What are probelms? What are solutions?
I think and ponder and i miss the things around me.
I care, i love. Why? I don't know
What's love? What do i care about?
Why do i care? Why do i love?
Is there a point to everything?
Are we living a game?
I'll never know, probably not in my lifetime.
Plagued by these questions i always will be.
Elusive the answers to all my questions.


I just wrote that. without thought or control, just pure feeling.
Does it make sense? i don't know.......
All i know is.... I'm tired.
Very very tired.....................
gd nite.........