A good day

Today was a really really good day. No, not good, Great!
Started off with work, at abt 330. went down to mustafa to set up the Roadshow area.
Quite fun lah, got to play around with all the gizmos and doo-hickeys. haha
Ended everything at about 730, then i walked down to Orchard MRT to meet 2 of my most favorite people in my life, Melissa and Shao Bing.
It takes about 50 mins of really fast paced walking to get to Orchard MRT. lol...

Well, anyway, we proceeded to Sakae Sushi for dinner, but it was super crowded, so we went to Marche instead.
Dinner was really really good. I sorta knew something was up when Mel called me up and asked me out for dinner.
But i wasn't really expecting what happened lah. heh..
We just got food. Then at dessert, they got me a slice of cake and put a candle in it, sang a birthday song for me really softly so as not to embaress me.
I thought that was really cute. heh.. anyway, as i said the 2 both of them are amongst my favorite people to hang out of go out with.
I wasn't really planning to celebrate my birthday in anyway this year, but i guess the 2 of them made this a birthday to rememeber.
It isn't exactly my birthday but hey, its good enough. Honestly, in my 20 years. This is probably the one i'll remember for a really really long time.
besides i have a picture to remind me. a picture that mel took.

I've always preferred spending my birthday in the company of people that are special to me.
I like close relationships, and good friendships. i like warmth and love.
I guess its cause i like that, that i try to give that kind of feeling to the people around me.
You get what you give, a wise man once said.

I can't really put into words how i feel now. except for the fact that i'm really touched.
Touched that the 2 of them took the time to sorta plan it for me.
I wrote before, Mel always made me feel like i'm wanted around and i'm appreciated.
Shao Bing, well, she's always been there for me, even though we've been through a lot of stuff between us.

Anyway, Thank You Melissa, Thank You Shao Bing.
I love you both very much. =]
I can't possibly think of a better close to a day or a week.

good night everyone.

A Special Person

There's this person, a really special person.
Who's touched my heart and touched my soul.
I don't know how i'm feeling towards this person.
I'm not sure how i should feel towards this person.
I'm afraid that if i act wrongly, i'll lose this person.
I'm afraid that if i act slowly, i'll never have this person.

I'm afraid of making the same mistakes again,
yet i'm afraid that by not doing anything, nothing will ever happen.
Should i not do anything and just let time take it course?
Or should i take that risk even though it might cause me remorse?
I don't know what i should do, i don't know how i should feel.
Tell me how i should feel, tell me how i should treat you.

Though i've had experiences, though i've been in relationships,
each time its different, each time its new.
Its a different person and a whole new world.
We all see things differently, we all act towards things differently.
Tell me what i should know, tell me what i should do.
I'm confused, i'm blur, i'm feeling as if this is my first all over again.

I feel like a confused little boy, trying to figure out how to live this life.
Digesting new information, incorporating new experiences.
I try to learn and i try to listen,
I try to comfort and i try to soothe.
My words are sometimes useless, thats cause i don't know what to say,
so i'm pleading with this person again, tell me what i should do.

Drop me a hint, give me a sign,
of how i should proceed with these feelings of mine.
Suppress them or share them?
Depends on the signs you give.
Please make them obvious, to me and not the world.
I can be a little blind, i can be very blur.

So this is just a poem,
a very simple poem,
after reading you might know,
then again you might not.
as i said, its a poem,
a simple poem to this special person,
Who's touched both heart and soul
of this very simple person.


10th October. its Debra and Sherwin's birthday today. The chances of them reading this journal are definately very slim, cause well only certain people have the add of this blog. These certain people are those i know and trust and love.

I've gotta go to work later today, set up the area outside Mustafa Shopping Centre for my Sony roadshow thats gonna start tomorrow.
Looking forward to it. think its gonna be a blast. gadgets galore from my favorite company.

If you're wondering about the poem i wrote above, it just feelings, emotions and thoughts.
dedicated to someone special. known only to me.
maybe one day this person might figure it out.
then again the person might not even have the address to this blog.
yeah haha full of oxymorons i know...
basically i don't want anyone to know who that person is.
Everyone needs a few secrets in their life. this just became one of mine.

well, good night.

Time Check

Time Check : 01.33AM
Date Check : 9th October 2003

Went for my training today, with Sony. was Freezing cold man.... couldn't stop shivering.
The day was not too bad. ended off well. Looking forward to Friday, when i'll get to set up the place and at the same time, play around with the sony products.
LOL wat could be better?
The pay's good. only problem, the hours are LONG....
but its alright.. i could get used to it.

After training, i had to rush down to Novena to meet Charlene, best bud and business partner.
Its weird, as if the both of us have the same kind of thoughts about the cafe i wanna set up, so there isn't a problem coming up with stuff for the cafe.
I like the chat sessions we have when we meet up.
Thats why i ususally carry a note pad around when i meet her, cause stuff will just pop into our heads and then can jot it down so we don't forget.
It might just be me, but i have this really really good feeling about the cafe. Its not optimism or anything, its just this good feeling that as if i'm gonna succeed,
my dream's gonna come true. its that kinda feeling. even though i'm gonna start it in abt 5 years time, i'm getting the feeling already.
I don't know what to put in the so-called "business proposal". I don't know what i need to put inside and i'm hoping that i have most of my basses covered.

Life's been really looking up lately... Its as if i'm basking in the sun. Finally.

I guess perhaps its cause i finally let everything go, i've cut loose everything that was holding me back and i'm free to move on.
It refreshing, like a breath of fresh air.

I decided to change the look of my blog, not really out of boredom, but i wanted to give it a more personal side.
I did after all name my blog. My Darker Side. so its black. and its minimalistic, simplistic.
Don't wanna complicate it too much.

Oh, i added a flooble or a tag board. don't know why.. just added it in, so leave me messages if you want to.

Life is good... I can finally say that....

11 days till bday. Am i looking forward to it?
I can't really say. more mixed feelings. people have asked me if i was gonna be celebrating, then i think,
"What's the point?" i'll be working through my birthday anyway.
I know i can sorta do it later, but i've always liked to spend my birthday with someone special.
not in a big group or a party, but with 3-4 close friends, maybe going for a cup of coffee, hang out and just chill.
Thats my kinda birthday. i know parties are fun and all that, but i prefer something small and quieter.. i guess its just me.
I'm pretty mellow.

Talking about chilling out. There's a difference in Hanging out and Chilling out. to me there is at least.
Hanging out is like, going to town to hang out where you walk around window shop.
Hanging out is like constatly moving around, with maybe an hour or 2 devoted to sitting down and chatting.
Whereas, Chilling out is devoting a few hours, relaxing at a nice cosy, comfortable place unwinding and escaping from the stresses of the world.
Thats my definition.
Chilling out place, thats what i want to achieve with my cafe,
I want to give Singaporeans, especially those who work in the town area, a place to relax and unwind.
A place to chill. Pop in for lunch, chill out for that 45 mins - 1 hour, then go back to work relaxed.
A relaxed worker is usually able to think better and well i guess is usually calmer and less prone to rash decisions.

Now that all of you know what the main aim of the cafe that i'm gonna open is, i hope that when i do open, i'll see you all walking in and chilling out.
A very large part is still in the works, cause lets face it, i really need to be out of the army and start looking for that big open warehouse i wanna call HOME.
So i guess its still under construction, but pieces are already falling into place, i'm looking forward to it.

Good night people.

Time Check : 02.00AM
Date Check : 09th October 2003

And you know and you know
''Cause my life's a mess
And I'm trying to grow
You think that I'm strong you're wrong
You're wrong
I'll sing my song my song my song

Thats the chorus of Strong, by Robbie Williams.
It speaks for itself...

13 days..... Its not that i'm counting down to let everybody know, but its more like for myself.
This year's birthday, its like a milestone... I'm not going to be a teen anymore.
I know, i know, you're as old as you feel.... but its not that.. its the fact that i'm a young adult now...
I can't fool around like i did.... i have decisions to make and a life to live....
I've to grow up and start behaving like an adult....

Heck, i already feel like an adult. I'm supporting myself now, paying my own bills and all that..

I am nothing more
Than a little boy inside
That cries out for attention
Yet I always try to hide
'Cause I talk to you like children
Though I don’t know how I feel
But I know I’ll do the right thing
If the right thing isn’t feel

I just hope that in time, i'll be able to do the right thing, no matter what i'm in.

I feel different, the past few days i've been reviewing my life so far, looking at my mistakes, looking at the choices i made.
I would like to start this new chapter of my life with a clean slate, so to speak.
I look back and i regret at some of my decisions. But its too late.
I guess its all part of the learning process. I learnt from my experiences.
I learnt from my friends. I learnt from God.

I hope i'll be able to put all i've learnt to good use in my future.
In my Cafe, in my dream.

Well, here's to all of you who read this.

Cheers.

Thank you

To those who have made an impact in my life.
Without you guys i wouldn't be who i am today.
You've helped me learn, you've helped me see,
You've let me share, you've let me listen.

To Sean, for being my brother.

To Cally, for being a teacher.

To Daf, for being my friend, my confidant.

To Felicia, for always somehow being around when i need someone to talk to.

To Shao Bing, for the experinces we've shared.

To Melissa, for always making me feel like i'm wanted.

To Amanda and Aileen, for letting me be an older brother to you.

To Wen, for the chit chat sessions we've had.

To Rebekah, for allowing me to share what i believe in with you

To Angela, for letting me have the pleasure of having you for company when i'm down.

To Jacintha, for always trying to bring that little bit of sunshine into my day. the fact that you try already makes my day.

To everybody else, I'm sorry i haven't mentioned you all, but for everything that you've shared with me, Especially for your friendships.


I thank all of you from the bottom of my heart.
For some i've known you guys for ages, for the other, newly found friends.
None the less an impact you've made in my life.
You've shaped me and moulded me.
You've helped me out of my pitfalls.
There isn't much i can say except

thank you all, I love all of you a lot.

lastly, but definately not the least. i thank god. for giving me life, and for putting all of you into my life, to enrich it and to make it beautiful. Without all of you i wouldn't be able to experience his love.

Thank you lord.