Missing someone

Its been a long day.......
Sometimes i wonder why i put myself through all this pain...
sometimes i wonder why i go through all this.....
When i do, i look up and i see her.
I think its all worth it.....

After all this time, i'm left to conclude,
perhaps in life, i'm never meant to attain perfection.
Never meant to have happiness that will last me a life time.
never meant to reach completion.
never meant to experience the completion of 2 souls being joined into one.

perhaps, this pain's never going to leave me, until i have her back.
perhaps i'm already living in hell....
maybe i already am in hell.....
i guess this hell's of my own making.

Everyday,
I miss the touch of her hand in mine.
I miss the sound of her voice.
I miss the smell of her hair.
I miss the warmth of her embrace.
I miss looking into her eyes, at her most perfect soul.
I miss her smile that can brighten up the darkest of days.
Most of all, i miss her.
her playfulness, her caring self, her hardworking self, her dedicated self,
her vulnerability, her innocence, her energy, her life, her maturity her perfection.
I miss her......
The way she talks, the way she laughs, the way she walks, the way she thinks, the way she looks, the way she loves.
I miss her......

I've left choir. today was my last day......
With time, i hope i'll be able to experience her again.....
There'll never be another her.
I'll probably never find another angel like her.
She was my angel. i hope she'll be mine again.
No, i don't own her, she isn't a commodity to be owned.
She's someone to be experienced, to be cherished.
Yet she also has to be set free.
If she comes back, i won''t cage her up, i won't clip her wings.
instead i'll let her fly, let her soar.....
i was selfish, i was afraid.
afraid i'd lose her, afraid someone else would take her away.
instead i drove her away.....
i won't make those mistakes again.

You don't know what you really have till you lose it.
Its only begun to strike me what i really lost.....
How much i lost......
I lost a lifetime's worth of happiness.....
i lost everything........
I could lose my material possesions, but if i had her, i'd be happy.
that's how much she means to me......
i was an idiot.........

If only she knew how much i truly love her....
If only she knew how badly i want her back....
If only she knew how much i really need her....
I guess its too late now....
I can only live in my memories now.
Relive those beautiful moments.
Moments that bring so much joy, yet also bring so much pain.
Bittersweet memories......

please forgive me......
i'm sorry.......
i love you........