I don't understand this.....
i've spent the past few months trying to get over you.
i've tried countless times to get over you.
to forget you. to pretend you don't exist in my life anymore.
each and everytime i turn full circle and end up back where i am.
each and everytime, my feelings grow and grow.......

by now any normal guy would hate this....
would to a certain extent hate you, cause of all the pain, all the hurtful things that have been said.
Yet strangely i don't.. i can't.. i can't hate you....
Just as how i probably no matter how hard you tried, you would never piss me off.
i would get angry at the situation, but never at you.

Yes, i hate the fact that i'm always back where i started.....
and i do hate the fact that i can't get over you....
honestly i hate myself right now...
i hate myself because i love you so much.....

Now i'm telling myself, i'll be a friend... nothing more......
That i'll never bring up what had happened before.....
Do you have any idea how hard that is?
How hard it is for me to have to bottle up my feelings for you.
when each time i see you i just want to tell you i love you.
when each time i see you i just want to hold you and kiss you.
Yet all of this i can't do because you don't want me.
So i'll be a friend. because thats all i can be.

You tell me you were never happy with me....
I have a hard time believing that...
if only you had seen yourself then...
happiness abounded......
i'm glad you're happy now....
All i had wanted to do when we were together was to make you happy.
i guess i had failed.....
In fact i still want to make you happy...
just to see the joy in your eyes, and deep down in your soul.
i just want you to be happy....

Its a bitter sweet feeling.....
sweet because you're happy.
bitter because its not with me.
given the chance again, i could make you happy.
i would try to give you all the joy in the world.
i would try to always make you smile.
i would never make you cry........
i would never make you hurt.......

Oh, if only i had the chance again......
i wouldn't fail again... i would make you happy.....
If only......