Rain

The rain, there's a cleansing effect about it.
It falls and washes everything clean.
Yet the rain, with the mood it sets about the day.
How the rain clouds come in and block out the light.
Giving everything a greyish hue.
It sets me off thinking.
Thinking about everything around me, about all that's happened.
It sets me off......

How i wish the rain would wash the slate clean again.
You were right, we got into our relationship at the wrong time.
We both still had places to go and to grow.
You, to see the world and find out what you wanted, to grow up a little more.
Me, to settle down, to learn to control myself, to be more independent.
We got into it at the wrong time.
I guess what happened in the end was inevitable.

The thoughts that the rain brings. The past resurfaces as the dirt gets washed off.
I look at myself and i see the old me.
Yet this old me has been scarred by the present. forever changed.
None the less, this is the old me. in essence he is still the same.
Slowly but surely i'm reverting back to this person.

My last 5 days out in the world, to live freely.
How i wish i could spend these last 5 days in your arms and in your embrace.
That i could take comfort in the knowledge you'd be there for me when i come out on the weekends.
These are my last 5 days......

I speak of my NS, like i speak of incoming death.
In a sense it is death. The death of the teenager. Yet a birth also of an adult.
Bittersweet.........
I pray one day'll fall in love with the adult.
Older and wiser and more settled.
Perhaps only then will i be ready and worthy of you.
You, my perfect angel, my sweetest dream.
I pray that then, you'll be ready to love me again.