I think its time i really moved on.....
i think its time i start healing and stop hurting.....
had a nice talk with a good friend last night....
and all the stuff my other friends have been telling me finally sunk in.....

Its time i start smilling again.
Its time i start laughing again.
Its gonna be tough, but i gotta try.....

I guess i've had enough of the pain.....
I've had enough.....
As hard as its going to be, i'm going to try to be happy again.
Even if its without her... i have to try to be happy again....

carry on with my life.......
have to move on......

This is my reality.

I'm living but not really living.

laughing but not really laughing.

smling but not really smiling.

loving but not truly loving.

Sad reality isn't it?

Its Oxymoronic..... Its Sad....
That's what i am, that's what i've become.
A sad person, a sad excuse for living.
i live a sad excuse for a life.....
simply, SAD

Missing someone

Its been a long day.......
Sometimes i wonder why i put myself through all this pain...
sometimes i wonder why i go through all this.....
When i do, i look up and i see her.
I think its all worth it.....

After all this time, i'm left to conclude,
perhaps in life, i'm never meant to attain perfection.
Never meant to have happiness that will last me a life time.
never meant to reach completion.
never meant to experience the completion of 2 souls being joined into one.

perhaps, this pain's never going to leave me, until i have her back.
perhaps i'm already living in hell....
maybe i already am in hell.....
i guess this hell's of my own making.

Everyday,
I miss the touch of her hand in mine.
I miss the sound of her voice.
I miss the smell of her hair.
I miss the warmth of her embrace.
I miss looking into her eyes, at her most perfect soul.
I miss her smile that can brighten up the darkest of days.
Most of all, i miss her.
her playfulness, her caring self, her hardworking self, her dedicated self,
her vulnerability, her innocence, her energy, her life, her maturity her perfection.
I miss her......
The way she talks, the way she laughs, the way she walks, the way she thinks, the way she looks, the way she loves.
I miss her......

I've left choir. today was my last day......
With time, i hope i'll be able to experience her again.....
There'll never be another her.
I'll probably never find another angel like her.
She was my angel. i hope she'll be mine again.
No, i don't own her, she isn't a commodity to be owned.
She's someone to be experienced, to be cherished.
Yet she also has to be set free.
If she comes back, i won''t cage her up, i won't clip her wings.
instead i'll let her fly, let her soar.....
i was selfish, i was afraid.
afraid i'd lose her, afraid someone else would take her away.
instead i drove her away.....
i won't make those mistakes again.

You don't know what you really have till you lose it.
Its only begun to strike me what i really lost.....
How much i lost......
I lost a lifetime's worth of happiness.....
i lost everything........
I could lose my material possesions, but if i had her, i'd be happy.
that's how much she means to me......
i was an idiot.........

If only she knew how much i truly love her....
If only she knew how badly i want her back....
If only she knew how much i really need her....
I guess its too late now....
I can only live in my memories now.
Relive those beautiful moments.
Moments that bring so much joy, yet also bring so much pain.
Bittersweet memories......

please forgive me......
i'm sorry.......
i love you........

Artist: Bryan Adams
Album: So Far So Good
Title: Please Forgive Me

It still feels like our first night together
Feels like the first kiss and
It's gettin' better baby
No one can better this
I'm still hold on and you're still the one
The first time our eyes met it's the same feelin' I get
Only feels much stronger and I wanna love ya longer
You still turn the fire on

So If you're feelin' lonely.. don't
You're the only one I'd ever want
I only wanna make it good
So if I love ya a little more than I should

Please forgive me I know not what I do
Please forgive me I can't stop lovin' you
Don't deny me
This pain I'm going through
Please forgive me
If I need ya like I do
Please believe me
Every word I say is true
Please forgive me I can't stop loving you

Still feels like our best times are together
Feels like the first touch
We're still gettin' closer baby
Can't get close enough I'm still holdin' on
You're still number one I remember the smell of your skin
I remember everything
I remember all your moves
I remember you
I remember the nights ya know I still do

One thing I'm sure of
Is the way we make love
And the one thing I depend on
Is for us to stay strong
With every word and every breath I'm prayin'
That's why I'm sayin'...